Just when you thought things were crappy, there's always someone else out there who has it worse. So there's this website, http://www.fml.com/, which stands for "f*ck my life", where people share stories of unfortunate events that happen to them, followed by "fml". Some are funny, some are really unfortunate, and some are both. Then there's this one.
Today, I came home from work late (2:30am). As I snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiancee half awake said "No, no... Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML
I had to read that one twice to fully appreciate the true misfortune of Dan, but damn that sucks. Sorry Dan, but you make me feel like things in my world are pretty peachy. Best of luck to ya.
edit:
Ok, this one's even better, less unfortunate, way more funny.
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of only two weeks. As we were dancing, another woman grabbed my ass from behind me and squeezed. I yelped and turned around to see my mother as the culprit. My girlfriend punched her. I found out my mother is a Cougar and my girl has a mean right hook. FML
Aachoo!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Well, it is apparently that time of the year, kiddies. Wesley has started to go crazy enough to want to talk to himself and to a hypothetical semi-anonymous audience on the internet. So here I sit, on my bed, with my cool new laptop, drinking my coffee made from my new coffeepot, listening to music on my new stereo. Yet, in a very Fight Club way, I am still unsatisfied with things. But before I go into a brain dump about all the things that are bothering me, I might as well talk about some concrete things that maybe will be more understandable than my rantings.
So I live in Mississippi. Who saw that coming? Not me, that's for sure. How is it? It is less populated than I imagined. But in what ways is Mississippi different from my beloved home state of Texas? Let's just look at a few statistics I pulled up after about 30 seconds of internet searching:
Obesity prevalence among U.S. adults
#1 Mississippi: 26%, (tied four ways for)#3 Texas: 24%
Percent of People Below Poverty Level in the Past 12 Months
#1 Mississippi: 21.6%, #8 Texas: 16.6%
Firearms Death Rate per 100,000
(tied for)#6 Mississippi: 17.3, #26 Texas: 11
Unemployment Rate
#2 Mississippi: 7.9%, (tied for)#12 Texas: 5%
So, while Texas doesn't blow Mississippi out of the water on all of those statistics which were chosen based on which ones made me laugh out of the ones I looked at. This website is the source: www.statemaster.com So anyways, all of these statistics just confirm my susipicion that Mississippi is indeed fatter, poorer, less employed and more trigger-happy than Texas, which I didn't know was possible. I mean, I love my state, but there are a lot of rednecks in Texas, so I gotta hand it to Mississippi. Anyways, does this do anything to make me feel better about my current predicament? No. In fact the opposite. It just reminds me that I am not home, where all the people I love are. I am basically conscripted into a job that I don't care about, to work with people that I do not identify with and therefore have a hard time socializing with, which makes Wesley go crazy and have to talk to himself on his blog page. Harrumph.
Ok, so my advice for anyone who is all in the dumps and pessimistic is to look on the bright side, count your blessings, find the silver lining, blah blah blah. So lets do that, for realz.
So I live in Mississippi. Who saw that coming? Not me, that's for sure. How is it? It is less populated than I imagined. But in what ways is Mississippi different from my beloved home state of Texas? Let's just look at a few statistics I pulled up after about 30 seconds of internet searching:
Obesity prevalence among U.S. adults
#1 Mississippi: 26%, (tied four ways for)#3 Texas: 24%
Percent of People Below Poverty Level in the Past 12 Months
#1 Mississippi: 21.6%, #8 Texas: 16.6%
Firearms Death Rate per 100,000
(tied for)#6 Mississippi: 17.3, #26 Texas: 11
Unemployment Rate
#2 Mississippi: 7.9%, (tied for)#12 Texas: 5%
So, while Texas doesn't blow Mississippi out of the water on all of those statistics which were chosen based on which ones made me laugh out of the ones I looked at. This website is the source: www.statemaster.com So anyways, all of these statistics just confirm my susipicion that Mississippi is indeed fatter, poorer, less employed and more trigger-happy than Texas, which I didn't know was possible. I mean, I love my state, but there are a lot of rednecks in Texas, so I gotta hand it to Mississippi. Anyways, does this do anything to make me feel better about my current predicament? No. In fact the opposite. It just reminds me that I am not home, where all the people I love are. I am basically conscripted into a job that I don't care about, to work with people that I do not identify with and therefore have a hard time socializing with, which makes Wesley go crazy and have to talk to himself on his blog page. Harrumph.
Ok, so my advice for anyone who is all in the dumps and pessimistic is to look on the bright side, count your blessings, find the silver lining, blah blah blah. So lets do that, for realz.
#1) I am alive. Like the saying goes, every day you can get out of bed is a good one.
#2) I have a job. In reference to the aforementioned statistic, I guess I am lucky.
#3) I have a lot of people who love me in Texas and some elsewhere, including but not limited to: Ashley, Mom, Dad, Lindsey, Nonnie, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, all the aunts, uncles, and cousins, my buddies, all my friends from all the jobs, clubs, classes and activites I've been involved in over the years, and anybody else out there that cares about me that I am unable to put in a category. So to all of you, I love you too.
#4) I am healthy. While I am getting older, and I can tell (stupid grey hairs), I am healthy and fit, although I want to be going to the gym more than I have been, that's another story. Still, no major illnesses.
#5) I suppose this should go higher on the list, but I have got God looking out for me. Right now He is testing me, making sure I'm as tough as I think I am, but He is up there.
So, I do feel a little bit better. Yes, maybe I don't have just a roll-a-dex of friends here in MS, but that's my own fault. I need to get out there and get involved in activities and clubs and talk to people, get their phone numbers and go do fun stuff with them instead of sit in my room, playing computer games, waiting for something to happen. I also need to stay out of casinos, unless I have someone with me to pull me away when I'm doing good... or doing bad, haha. They can be fun, but it has become apparent to me that the best way to make money is to go to work and wait for paydays, instead of trying to make it multiply at blackjack, they'll just take it away.
Also, I live on the freakin' beach! Why am I not out there, soakin' up the sun and sand right this very minute? I should go buy a beach towel, slather on some sunscreen, go take a dip in the gulf and then let the sun warm me dry. That sounds nice. Maybe get something good to drink... Yes. That sounds like fun. I would prefer someone to go hang out with, but hey, I'll be that cool solo guy out there.
Speaking of being a solo guy, why, you may be asking yourself, are you not chatting up the ladies, Wesley, everyone knows you are a ladies' man. Well that is because, my dear friend, that I DO have a lady. And I am trying to do everything in my power to get her down here. Her name is ASHLEY and she is BEAUTIFUL. Just LOOK at her.
So, I do feel a little bit better. Yes, maybe I don't have just a roll-a-dex of friends here in MS, but that's my own fault. I need to get out there and get involved in activities and clubs and talk to people, get their phone numbers and go do fun stuff with them instead of sit in my room, playing computer games, waiting for something to happen. I also need to stay out of casinos, unless I have someone with me to pull me away when I'm doing good... or doing bad, haha. They can be fun, but it has become apparent to me that the best way to make money is to go to work and wait for paydays, instead of trying to make it multiply at blackjack, they'll just take it away.
Also, I live on the freakin' beach! Why am I not out there, soakin' up the sun and sand right this very minute? I should go buy a beach towel, slather on some sunscreen, go take a dip in the gulf and then let the sun warm me dry. That sounds nice. Maybe get something good to drink... Yes. That sounds like fun. I would prefer someone to go hang out with, but hey, I'll be that cool solo guy out there.
Speaking of being a solo guy, why, you may be asking yourself, are you not chatting up the ladies, Wesley, everyone knows you are a ladies' man. Well that is because, my dear friend, that I DO have a lady. And I am trying to do everything in my power to get her down here. Her name is ASHLEY and she is BEAUTIFUL. Just LOOK at her.
So, anyways, she's gorgeous and I am not about to do anything to jeopardize my situation with her. I just need to find her a job and a place to live and then life will be GREAT because I'll have someone to explore with, which is way more fun than exploring by yourself, I think. Anyways, I'm going to wrap this up because I'm losing daylight and that's the whole point in going to the beach!Monday, June 1, 2009
A stale start...
So I have lots of "Ok, THIS is gonna be the start of a new phase! A new beginning! A fresh chance at redemption and glory!!!" But I usually lose steam part of the way through and I have to re-pump myself, so its not really new anymore, I guess. So, here is one of those re-pumps. Rar! Off to learn things I've already learned and hopefully some new stuff. Maybe even make a friend... yay! Coffeez, mmmm.
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