I did not self introspect today.

 Well, I guess I almost didn’t. I’m delaying sleep because if I sleep then I’m skipping ahead to when I have to get up and go to work and right now I’m still several hours away from that and I prefer the latter. I would rather stay up and think about D&D and the Mars rover Perseverance than have to get up and go to work. I know that I should just go to sleep and be more rested for the day tomorrow but I guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I yam what I yam. A procrastinator. I’ll try again tomorrow. 

Sundays are for Introspection

 So Ialways have a hard time starting to write, but I also know that I feel better when I do write. So if getting started is the hard part, I have to make it easier somehow. So I've learned to start to just write as a stream of consciousness flow for a while until my thoughts order themselves in such a way that I figure out what is at the crux of what I want to say. 

Right now I'm having to contend with the Netflix's Number Blocks in the background. It's a children's educational program about numbers and my son loves it, which I'm glad he's getting exposure and learning about numbers and math, but they're only 5 minutes long so every five minutes I hear the theme song and my son holler out "ANOTHER ONE??!" before the auto-play kicks in and I just say, "yeah buddy, another one..."

I want to have a more regimented way of writing these things. As the title suggests, I want Sundays to be about introspection. Think about what's going on inside my head, my heart, my body, my soul. I want to be more cognizant of the things I'm consuming, via all my senses. I'm not really where I want to be. I am not at the ideal place when I envision the best version of myself; I'm off in a few places. But I don't want to dwell on those shortcomings, so I need to focus on my goals. Then I can be real with myself as to where I am and where I need to be so I can make a plan to get to my goal. Not just wallow in my perceived failings, never doing anything about them. Maybe we need some positive affirmations. 

I'm trying to get better; I'm making an effort, I'm facing my fears and insecurities; That's a good thing.

I've heard that instead of saying you want to be something, say that you ARE that thing and now you just need to do the things required by that something. For instance, say "I am a person who gets up early" instead of saying "I want to get up early" The difference is that in the second statement, you haven't committed to anything. It's still aspirational. in the first statement, you've made the decision. You are that person, so now you just have to follow through and make it true. It makes it easier somehow, to wrap your head around it. Maybe. 

I am a fit dad. I am a loving husband. I am a good friend who keeps in touch with his friends. I am a faithful follower of Christ who loves himself, loves others and loves God with all his heart. 

What are all those things? What does it take? Let's break it down.

Things fit dads do: 

• Eat healthy and nutritious food, encourage his family to do the same. Make it easier for this to happen, help with the meal planning, shopping and cooking. 
• Exercise regularly and encourage family to do the same. Make it easier for this to happen by planning, scheduling and leading workouts with the family. 
• Get enough rest and encourage others to do the same. Set bedtimes for adequate rest, and stick to them, discouraging screen time at least an hour before sleep. 

Alright, that's a start. I'm going to get going with the day before I come back and define the husband, friend and Christian aspects. I'm going to do dishes, start laundry, bake bread and make chili. 

Six. Years. Later.

 Welp. I guess I was right about one thing. I'm pretty inconsistent with this writing thing. I read a little bit of my previous posts. I don't want to dwell too much on the past, I need to focus on the future and making progress, but I feel like I should at least address a couple of things. Since my last post, I've run three Savage Races and one Spartan Race, so I did alright with that one. I've donated platelets around a dozen times. And I've started setting aside $50 a paycheck towards my Edward Jones accounts and increased my TSP contribution to 4% of my base pay, so... I guess I did all my resolutions... from 2015 lol.  It's now 2021. To catch you up, I'm still in Maryland, I have a 3 year old son, Bennett, Donald Trump won and then lost the Presidency and there's a global pandemic that's been pretty terrible for the world but my family and I have stayed safe, although the relative isolation has not been without its consequences. Even an introvert like me is getting chatty with strangers when I happen to venture out for a validated need. 

Anyways, my nagging feeling of needing to get my thoughts out of my head has reached its peak again, so thats why I'm here. Maybe I'll post again soon, maybe not. Also, I'm learning to play guitar, finally. Feels pretty good. 

I have some written journal entries that someday I might try and transcribe to this platform, I haven’t decided yet, but right now this seems like the best place to consolidate my thoughts to. 

I have so many fleeting but interesting thoughts at inopportune times but I will try and record them here. They usually come to me when I’m in the shower or reading my son a bedtime story. 

Oh yeah, neat thing happened today. Mars rover Perseverance landed today, great success, watched it online. They have an internet doodad that I want to try and include in this here blog page. 

Hey, neat. It worked. Good night!